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Mindfulness for the Bedroom

A virtual group for women looking to reduce anxiety and be more present during sex.

Does your mind wander during sex? If so, you are not alone. Mind-wandering during sex can often be attributed to worrying about the way our bodies look, focusing on to-do lists and pressing personal issues (such as your children, job stress, school, etc), and worrying about sexual performance. But what if you could be fully present in your sexual experience?  What quality of connection and pleasure might you have if you were entirely concentrated on the encounter and not what happened earlier that day, or what's supposed to happen in the future? Well, mindfulness can help. 

Image by Womanizer Toys

How can mindfulness improve your sex life?

With a mindfulness practice, you can gradually strengthen your muscle of attention. Attention is truly our most precious resource. As you continue to meditate, your mind learns to wander less, and rest its focus on the present with more ease. This will naturally improve your sex life, simply by bringing more attention to enjoying and being present for the encounter.

Mindfulness can also help you have more realistic expectations about your sexual encounters. Aiming for "perfect sex" all or most of the time can actually result in less satisfying, emotionally connective, and overall pleasurable sex. Realistic expectations naturally translate to more emotional connectedness and pleasure.

Mindfulness can also help you to increase acceptant, increase self- and other-compassion, help you cultivate more trust and emotional safety with sex, help you focus on the process and enjoy foreplay, instead of rushing to intercourse, and increase your emotional and physical connection to yourself, thus working to increase your emotional connection to partner(s).

Is this support group right for me?

This support group is designed for adult women over the age of 18 (whether single or partnered) who are struggling with feeling fully present and embodied in their sex lives. This virtual group meets once per week and consists of education, development and maintenance of mindfulness practices, exploring desires, identifying boundaries, and navigating interpersonal relationships. Group members will learn skills to help be more present and reduce anxiety in the bedroom. It is open to all who identify as “woman.”

  • How does EMDR therapy differ from other therapies?
    EMDR therapy does not require talking in detail about the distressing issue or homework between sessions. EMDR, rather than focusing on changing the emotions, thoughts, or behaviors resulting from the distressing issue allows the brain to resume its natural healing process. EMDR therapy is designed to resolve unprocessed traumatic memories in the brain. Part of the therapy includes alternating eye movements, sounds, or taps. For many clients, EMDR therapy can be completed in fewer sessions than other psychotherapies.
  • How can EMDR therapy help?
    Our brains have a natural way to recover from traumatic memories and events. While many times traumatic experiences can be managed and resolved spontaneously, they may not be processed without help. Stress responses are part of our natural fight, flight, or freeze instincts. When distress from a disturbing event remains, the upsetting images, thoughts, and emotions may create feelings of overwhelm, of being back in that moment, or of being “frozen in time.” EMDR therapy helps the brain process these memories and allows normal healing to resume. The experience is still remembered, but the fight, flight, or freeze response from the original event is resolved.
  • What is EMDR Therapy?
    EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is a form of therapy that helps people heal from trauma or other distressing life experiences. Experiencing trauma can affect the brain's natural ability to recover from distressing events. EMDR therapy is designed to resolve unprocessed traumatic memories through alternating eye movements, sounds, or taps. EMDR therapy has been extensively researched and has demonstrated effectiveness for trauma.
  • Are EMDR Intensives covered by insurance?
    Coverage varies, and it's recommended to check with your insurance provider. While some aspects of the intensive may be covered, others may not. We can provide you with necessary documentation for potential reimbursement.
  • What does research say about EMDR Intensives?
    Intensive application of trauma-focused therapy seems to be well tolerated in patients with PTSD, enabling faster symptom reduction with similar, or even better, results, while reducing the risk that patients drop out prematurely. Learn more here and here. Intensive EMDR treatment is feasible and is indicative of reliable improvement in PTSD symptoms in a very short time frame. Learn more here. An intensive program using EMDR therapy is a potentially safe and effective treatment alternative for complex PTSD. Learn more here. The economy is compelling: even compared to other trauma therapy, the intensive format may decrease treatment time. Learn more here.
  • What is EMDR Therapy?
    Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy approach designed to help individuals process and heal from distressing life experiences. EMDR Therapy utilizes bilateral stimulation, typically through eye movements, sounds, or taps, to assist in the reprocessing of traumatic memories. EMDR therapy has been extensively researched and has demonstrated effectiveness for trauma.
  • What types of issues can EMDR be used for?
    EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a versatile therapeutic approach known for its effectiveness in addressing a wide range of psychological issues. EMDR can be used for: 1. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): EMDR is particularly recognized for its success in treating PTSD resulting from various traumatic experiences, including accidents, assault, combat, and natural disasters. 2. Trauma and Abuse: EMDR is beneficial for individuals who have experienced different types of trauma, such as childhood abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. 3. Anxiety Disorders: EMDR has demonstrated efficacy in alleviating symptoms associated with anxiety disorders, including panic disorder, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety disorder. 4. Depression Individuals whose depressive symptoms are linked to traumatic events can find relief through EMDR therapy. 5. Phobias EMDR is applied to help individuals process and overcome specific phobias, such as fear of flying, heights, or animals. 6. Grief and Loss: EMDR may aid individuals in processing grief and loss associated with death, divorce, or significant life changes. 7. Addiction: EMDR can be part of a comprehensive treatment plan for addiction, addressing underlying traumas contributing to addictive behaviors. 8. Pain Disorders: In certain cases, EMDR is explored as a complementary therapy for chronic pain conditions, addressing the psychological aspects of pain. 9. Performance Anxiety: EMDR has been used to address performance anxiety in various areas, including public speaking, athletic performance, creative pursuits, and sexual performance anxiety. 10. Self-Esteem Issues: EMDR can be beneficial for individuals dealing with low self-esteem, helping them process and reframe negative beliefs about themselves.
  • How does intensive therapy work?
    Before we get into the Intensive (the part where you’ll engage in EMDR), we’ll meet for a Pre-Intensive Interview to determine the goal(s) of the time we’ll have together. We will look at what your life looks like now (what things are currently stressful in your life, what does your support system look like, how do you cope when you’re overwhelmed with big emotions and uncomfortable physical sensations), and places that you want relief, growth, or to take a big step forward. During the Intensive we simultaneously work on decreasing the pain you’re feeling while also increasing your ability to connect with more enjoyable feelings, thoughts, and memories. We do this with deep-level brain processing in EMDR, and learning which specific coping strategies work best for you. Depending on where you are in life and your goal(s) for the Intensive, we may spend time processing relationships and events of your past or present, or your worries for the future. This process is very personal and customized to you. After the EMDR Intensive, we’ll meet for a Post-Intensive Interview to reflect on what you processed and learned, what was meaningful to you, and how do you let these new insights and shifts permeate into more of your life moving forward.
  • I have more questions or different questions, when can we chat?
    I have an initial free (up to 30 minute) video consultation I offer which can be booked via email at
  • Are EMDR Intensives worth the time and money?
    EMDR Intensives give you the results you would get from months of therapy in a much shorter period of time. If you add up the cost of weekly therapy, an EMDR Intensive is actually more cost effective. Instead of waiting months, you can get the same results in a few days.
  • What are EMDR Therapy Intensives?
    EMDR Therapy Intensives are concentrated sessions that offer an accelerated and focused approach to the EMDR therapeutic process. Unlike traditional weekly sessions, intensives provide extended, uninterrupted time to delve deeper into the healing journey. Sessions during the Intensive would be 3-4 hours per day. An intensive format may decrease overall treatment time because of time not spent on: checking in at the beginning of each session addressing current crises and concerns assisting clients in regaining composure at the end of the session because this is built into the work and at times not even needed
  • Why do an EMDR Intensive?
    You want to experience deep therapeutic work that can change your life quickly. You had a painful or uncomfortable experience that is still impacting you today. You have some time off of work or school, and you want to use some of your time for a mental spa day. You have done EMDR before and found it helpful for healing and moving through life without feeling weighed down. You want to prepare yourself for a big life event (a wedding, moving somewhere new, becoming a parent, starting a new job or school). You already go to weekly therapy and you feel stuck or on the verge of a break through. You may want to do an Intensive as a supplement to your weekly therapy.

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