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  • Writer's pictureHolly Wood

5 Tips for Heating Up your Sex Life This Summer

Are you looking to add some spice and excitement to your sex life? Whether you're in a long-term relationship or exploring new experiences, it's normal for things to sometimes feel a little stagnant or routine in the bedroom. The good news is that there are plenty of ways to rev up your sex life and reignite that passion and intimacy you crave. In this blog post, we'll explore five practical tips that can help you take your sexual encounters to new heights. Get ready to discover new sensations, deepen your connection with your partner, and experience a more fulfilling and vibrant sex life.

1. Switch it up! Try new locations and positions.

Try and get out of the routine of always doing it in the bedroom. Have sex on the kitchen counter. Get it on in the hallway. Do it on the couch, in your pantry, or in your bedroom closet. It doesn’t matter where, just pick a place that isn’t your usual spot. Most clients tell me they have better sex when they are out of their usual environment (like on vacation). So try and initiate that while at home. The new smells, sounds, lighting and textures will help provide some variance in your sex life. And as for positions, switching that up not only provides variance but can also provide access to different erogenous zones that we don't usually have access to. For example, try putting a pillow under your butt to angle the hips for deeper penetration.

2. Brainstorm a list of fantasies (Yes, No, Maybe)

Try and write down your ultimate fantasy, or brainstorm a list of no-stress, exciting ideas to try together. I like to give my clients what’s called a “Yes, No, Maybe list.” It's an exhaustive list of sexual activities and kinky things to get your mind thinking about all the sexual experiences you can create with your partner. I usually give it to couples to complete separately by running though the list and simply checking off each item with a yes, no, or maybe, then invite both clients to share their list with one another and see where there is overlap. If you come up with something that both parties aren’t into, put it on a “maybe” list, and revisit it later. Not only is making a list together fun, simply talking about desires can keep things sexy. Communication allows you to fantasize consensually so that you can focus on pleasure in the bedroom.

3. Get to know yourself, Masturbate!

Touch yourself! Once you know what helps you orgasm, you can better understand how you’d like to be touched by a partner and ask for it. Plus, being confident in what you want can be really sexy.

4. Play with your Senses

One way to do this is by removing a sense. Taking away one (or more) sense heightens the others. Blindfold your partner, add headphones with sensual music, or have porn playing in the background. Not being able to see or hear heightens awareness and anticipation for sensations that are to come. It builds excitement. Then, experiment with other sensory experiences, like touch, temperature, and pressure. You can use objects like ice, feathers, massage oil, and lubricant to explore various textures and physical sensations.

5. Have a faux affair. (With your partner!)

Plan a date with your partner, and act like you’re meeting up with your lover, while you both (pretend to) leave your partners at home. (Use your imagination!) Part of the reason why couples cheat is to feel more sexually uninhibited, simply because it’s taboo—so who knows where a faux affair can lead you. Even prepping for it can increase excitement and anticipation.

Incorporating these five tips into your sex life can have a profound impact on your overall satisfaction and connection with your partner. Remember, communication and consent are essential foundations for any sexual exploration. Be open to trying new things, experiment with different techniques and activities, and most importantly, have fun! Revving up your sex life is an ongoing journey of exploration and discovery, so embrace the adventure and enjoy the incredible physical and emotional benefits that await you. Here's to a more passionate, intimate, and fulfilling sex life!

Want to explore more ways to spice things up? Check out how to expand your sexual horizons with a Yes, No, Maybe List!

About the author

Holly Wood is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT), an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Sexologist with the American Board of Sexology (ABS). This unique combination of credentials enables her to focus on clients’ sex lives as well as their overall mental health and trauma recovery.

Holly works with individuals and couples who have been looking forward to meeting their own sexual desires both individually and in relationships. She works from a trauma-informed, sex-positive, and holistic approach to help clients to get past their past and develop the necessary skills to achieve lifelong change and improve their quality of life.

When she is not counseling clients, she is holding seminars and workshops, conducting sex research or, or utilizing social media to disseminate accurate, up-to-date information to a wide range of audiences hoping to improve their sexual wellness. Holly's mission is to spread education, empowerment, and self-love. She is committed to helping people heal themselves and live a life full of pleasure and connection.

Visit to learn more and request a consultation.

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