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  • Writer's pictureHolly Wood

How to Respond to Sexual Feedback

How to respond when your partner tells you something they like (or don't like) about what you're doing in the bedroom...

So your partner has given you some gentle feedback about your sexual dynamic? That's great! That means they felt safe enough to be vulnerable with you and want to make your relationship even better! So how do you receive and respond to sexual feedback in a way that is honest, empathetic, and without getting defensive?

Receiving and responding to sexual feedback is an important aspect of healthy and satisfying sexual experiences. Here are some tips on how to effectively receive and respond to sexual feedback:

Create a safe and non-judgmental environment

Foster an open and safe space where both you and your partner feel comfortable expressing your desires, preferences, and concerns without fear of judgment or criticism. Establishing trust is crucial for effective communication.

Encourage open communication

Encourage your partner to provide feedback by expressing your desire to improve and enhance your sexual experiences together. Let them know that their feedback is valued and that you genuinely want to hear their thoughts and feelings.

Try active listening

When receiving feedback, practice active listening. Give your partner your full attention and make an effort to understand their perspective. Avoid becoming defensive or dismissive, even if the feedback is critical or unexpected. Take their words seriously and show empathy towards their experience.

Ask for clarification

If the feedback is unclear or you need more information to fully understand their perspective, ask open-ended questions to seek clarification. This will demonstrate your commitment to understanding their needs and desires better.

Reflect and process

After receiving feedback, take some time to reflect on what was said. Consider how you feel about the feedback and how it aligns with your own desires and boundaries. Processing the feedback on your own allows you to gather your thoughts before responding.

Respond constructively

When providing a response, be mindful of your tone and choice of words. Aim to be respectful, appreciative, and open-minded. Thank your partner for their feedback and express your willingness to work on any areas for improvement. If there are any specific requests or actions they mentioned, discuss how you can incorporate them into your sexual experiences together.

Take action

Act on the feedback you receive. Show your partner that you value their input by making an effort to address their concerns or fulfill their desires. Experiment with new approaches, techniques, or activities that align with both of your comfort levels and boundaries.

Keep the communication going

Sexual feedback should be an ongoing and evolving process. Continuously encourage open dialogue about desires, boundaries, and satisfaction. Regularly check in with each other to ensure that you're both feeling fulfilled and that any adjustments or modifications can be made as needed.

Remember, effective communication and active listening are essential in receiving and responding to sexual feedback. By fostering an environment of trust, empathy, and open dialogue, you can create a stronger connection with your partner and enhance your sexual experiences together.

About the author

Holly Wood is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT), an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Sexologist with the American Board of Sexology (ABS). This unique combination of credentials enables her to focus on clients’ sex lives as well as their overall mental health and trauma recovery.

Holly works with individuals and couples who have been looking forward to meeting their own sexual desires both individually and in relationships. She works from a trauma-informed, sex-positive, and holistic approach to help clients to get past their past and develop the necessary skills to achieve lifelong change and improve their quality of life.

When she is not counseling clients, she is holding seminars and workshops, conducting sex research or, or utilizing social media to disseminate accurate, up-to-date information to a wide range of audiences hoping to improve their sexual wellness. Holly's mission is to spread education, empowerment, and self-love. She is committed to helping people heal themselves and live a life full of pleasure and connection.

Visit to learn more and request a consultation.

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